Ben Duke, of Philadelphia, has sent me a photograph of the front of a store in Brierly Hall, England. The sign reads:
Goodwyns Furniture Ltd.SOFA’S CHAIR’S RECLINER’S BED’S
Ben calls this signage “The Four Aprostrophe’s of the Apocalypse” and informs me that “the establishment is now permanently closed, so punctuation matters!”
I call such absurd punctuation “prepostrophes.” Hey, there’s an “s” at the end of a word, so I have to insert a squiggle before that “s.” No you don’t. The “s” is a plural, not a possessive!
And to top it off, the word “Goodwyns,” which is the only word that should have an apostrophe, doesn’t!
DEAR RICHARD: My husband played pickleball once on his 18 th birthday in his hometown, near where it originated. Forty-three years later, we ed the craze and are regularly enjoying playing (thanks to your lessons). We were wondering how the strange name of pickleball came about. – Jan Nikolai, Escondido
The game started during the summer of 1965 on Bainbridge Island, a short ferry ride from Seattle. Then state representative Joel Pritchard and two of his friends — BillBell and Barney McCallum — returned from golf one Saturday afternoon and found their families bored with the usual summertime activities. They tried to set up bton, but no onecould find the shuttlecock. So they improvised with a Wiffle ball, lowered the bton net, and fabricated paddles of plywood from a nearby shed.
According to Joan Pritchard, Joel’s wife, the name of the sport came “after I said it reminded me of the Pickle Boat in crew, where oarsmen were chosen from the leftovers of otherboats. Somehow the idea the name came from our dog Pickles was attached to the naming of the game, but Pickles wasn’t on the scene for two more years. The dog was named for the game.” The team on the north side of a pickleball court serves first as a tip of the hat and a bow to Bainbridge Island.
DEAR RICHARD: With the possible demise of penny production, have you considered a piece coveting the multitude of idioms and sayings that encom the word? – David Smollat, San Diego
To coin a phrase, a nickel for your thoughts, David. Your idea is nickelwise but not pound foolish, certainly not nickel-ante. You are clearly not a nickel pincher. Thanks for sharing yourfive cents. They’re worth a pretty nickel, and a nickel saved is a nickel earned. Like you, I’m in for a nickel, in for a pound, and we both know that a bad nickel always comes back. Now my favorite songs are “Nickels from Heaven” and “Nickel Lane,” my favorite store JCNickel, and my favorite footwear nickel loafers.
DEAR RICHARD: I enjoyed reading your column about Fadspeak, all the worn-out clichés that pollute our language. My question: How do you do it?:How do you come up with a topic and keep the theme going for an entire column? How do you make it look like a piece of cake and not a hot potato? – Nick Dieterich, Rancho Santa Fe
When I was a child, I conjured up “a butterfly will flutter by.” As a teenager, I improved that to “a dragonfly will drink its flagon dry.” I was editor-in-chief of my junior high schoolliterary magazine and my high school newspaper. Words have always embraced me, and the alphabet dances in my brain. And when a topic like Fadspeak starts shouting, “Write me! Write me!,” a battalion of examples instantly line up and report for duty.
I owe these abilities to three letters — OCD. In truth, I am blessed with CDO, which is OCD in alphabetical order. Thanks to the convergence of genes, environment, and drive, Iexperience spasmodic joy about my unstinting love affair with language.
DEAR RICHARD: By any chance, are you related to William Lederer, author of “The Ugly American”? Probably not, but just thought we’d ask – Sally and Craig Fox, Vista
I am not related to William Lederer, but I did meet him once and asked him, “People often ask me if I’m related to you. Do people ask you if you are related to me?” He replied, “Allthe time!”
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I’ll be offering “Living Will: The Legacy of William Shakespeare” at Brookdale Senior Living, in San Marcos, on April 13, 2 p.m.; La Mesa Oasis on April 18, 10 a.m.; and theRemington Club I, Rancho Bernardo, on April 21, 1:30 pm.
Please send your questions and comments about language.to [email protected] website: verbivore.com
