Some might expect that Debora Huff and her family won’t be celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday this year — at least not in the traditional sense.
With her husband’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis two years ago and a second round of chemotherapy started in recent weeks, the family has faced some daunting challenges.
But Thanksgiving will still go on this year for the Huffs, who say they intend to make every single day matter — especially a holiday focused on being together and being thankful.
Huff recalled the day when she and Bert shared the news of the diagnosis with the family.
“It was a hot summer day and everyone, our kids and their spouses and their kids, came over to the house,” she said. “My husband was holding a water hose out in the yard and all the grandkids were running through it and having fun.
“He wasn’t going to allow the sadness or shock of the diagnosis to make it so that he couldn’t enjoy his grandkids. He wanted to make the best of the time they spent together.”
Bert said he “knew this day would come.”
“I’m the only one left in my immediate family; everyone else has died of cancer. But it was still a shock to me when I got the news,” he said.
Debora, 66, said she and Bert, owners of Hague Quality Water in Ramona, “are as opposite as two people can be.”
He’s from Chicago and raised a poodle — once, Debora points out — while she grew up in Ramona, surrounded by animals and the farm life.
But like many couples in which opposites attract, they have their own hobbies that they often share.
“Bert loves his Jeep and Jeep trips. I don’t understand rock crawling in a Jeep where you get vertical and go straight up mountainsides and boulders, but I go with him,” Debora said.
She raises sheep and uses the wool to teach people about the textile industry.
“And while he thinks my sheep are nice, he will feed for me if I need him to,” she said.
After Debora’s retirement from teaching in 2018, the couple was eager for Bert’s planned retirement when he reached 70.
“He started the business 45 years ago, and he wanted to sell the business to our son once he retired,” she said.
But those plans changed when Bert, now 65, learned he had cancer. He had no prior symptoms, and in 2023 was given six months to live.
Initially, Debora said it seemed like the end of the family’s long-awaited plans.
She had been a 4H sheep leader for about five years for the Ramona Stars 4H club — the same club she was in as a little girl.
Three years ago, she purchased and began breeding her dream livestock, Swiss black nose Valais and Teeswater sheep.
The Valais breed originated in Switzerland. Known as “the cutest sheep in the world,” they are distinct, with long curly white coats, black legs and spiral horns.
Teeswater sheep are renowned for their fleece.
The Huffs recently finished building a 30-foot by 40-foot barn specifically for her sheep classes.
Their son, Brett, hoped to become a veterinarian, while her daughter, Sarah, dreamed of having a family with children.
Despite the challenges of the past two years, “our family has circled the wagon and some wonderful things have happened,” Debora said.
Brett changed his mind about becoming a veterinarian once he realized the amount of debt he would incur.
He returned to Ramona a few years ago with his wife and two children, and the couple recently welcomed their third child. His chemistry minor has made it much easier for him to take over the family business.
“It’s been incredible to work with him,” Bert said. “I’ve been surprised at how his technical job skills have paid off.”
Meanwhile, after Sarah and her husband had four adoption attempts fall through, the couple recently adopted a boy who is nearly the same age as his newest cousin.
“Her biggest wish was to be able to adopt while her dad was still here,” said Debora.
“I didn’t realize how awesome it would be to have grandkids until I held them in my arms,” Bert said.
Bob and Charmaine Bush, who have known the Huffs since 1994, have seen the family go through “a roller coaster ride.”
“They’re looking forward to what the future holds for them, with or without each other, even though they know it will be hard. Their attitude has been great,” Bob Bush said, noting their strong religious beliefs.
Debora considered giving up her sheep, but her husband talked her out of it.
“It’s been hard, but he told me absolutely not, do not get rid of my sheep,” she said, acknowledging that she downsized her herd of 22 to five, anticipating her husband will enter hospice care at some point.
“She’s like the Energizer bunny,” said Bert. “She never stops, and it’s great to watch her teach and the response she receives.”
Debora continues to use her sheep for education. For the past couple of years, she has set up a small booth with one of her lambs at the Ramona Christmas Tree Lighting event. In addition to allowing photographs to be taken with the sheep, she also sells ornaments made with sheep’s wool.
She was surprised last year to see lines 20 people long waiting to have their photos taken and learn a bit about sheep and wool.
She has been “weaving and needle felting like crazy,” preparing for this year’s Christmas event on Dec. 7.
Bert’s cancer recently spread to his liver and he is once again undergoing chemotherapy.
Typically, the Huffs’ extended family comes over to her house for Thanksgiving, but this year will be a little different.
“We’re getting together with our in-laws. I’m making a full Thanksgiving meal, with turkey, yams, mashed potatoes and more, and we’re taking it there,” Debora said.
The family will also use the Thanksgiving trip to prepare for a Christmas get-together.
“In December, we are taking our two kids, their spouses and all the grandkids to Disneyland,” Debora said.
Acknowledging that is is a bit “insane” to take two babies under 8 months old, a 5- and a 7-year-old and “a man undergoing chemo” to Disneyland for two days, Debora said it’s what Bert wants to do.
Bert said that when he was a child, his family used to travel from Chicago to California to visit Disneyland.
“There’s something magical about it and it’s been fun over the years,” he said.
Bert is still taking “Second Wife” — his beloved Jeep — out on trips. The silver LJ Jeep has been part of the family for the past 25 years.
Longtime of Grace Church, Bert said the family’s faith has helped them, as well as the of their family, friends and doctors.
“Hug your family, love your family and spend as much time as you can with them,” he said.
Debora encourages those dealing with similar circumstances to face their challenges.
“Don’t bury your head in the sand. You will miss opportunities to be together and laugh and cry and be aware of everything going on,” she said.
“I don’t want to miss anything.”
