Sez Me …
The Paris Olympic Games have arrived and will be squatting on us for more than a fortnight. I love the Olympics. Despite all of their cacophony of sour notes and beaucoup instances of political, medical and emotional trauma, I spend four years waiting for them.
But they have become an alarmingly expensive moveable feast resulting in an enormous waistline. They are fat. Sassy. Bloated. Cumbersome. Because they’re in , they will be one giant pastry and have too much sauce.
The new motto for the Five Rings: Bigger, plumper, wealthier.
Too big for their britches. There are 42 sports now. Everything but shepherding.
It appears will get off easy, spending a mere $10 billion to hold the Games, frankly well below the many more billions of euros they were expected to cost.
Hoping to rescue its Peacock, which has been streaming upstream against a hard current, NBC, paying $7.5 billion — or right around the gross national product of Bermuda — for exclusive rights to the Olympics through 2032, already has sold more than $1.2 billion in ads.
One of these days the IOC lords must realize that eventually it’s not going to be worth it to the host countries, especially in violent times where there may be more security cops (who don’t work for free) than athletes (who don’t work for free either). Not to mention the drugs and other turnoffs.
I don’t know if the IOC will come to its senses. You must have senses first to come to them. It doesn’t matter with the Winter Games. They can move around. The 2034 Winters have been awarded to Salt Lake City, which has hosted and is ready. Mountains nearby. Perfect.
I’ve said it before. The 2028 Summer Games will be held in Los Angeles. They should remain there.
Why? Because, while other cities/countries pay so much to build venues that eventually dry up, the L.A. area basically doesn’t have to do anything. No other city on earth comes close to what it has.
There are three huge stadiums — the Rose Bowl, Coliseum and the amazing SoFi. Two MLB ballparks. So much indoors. Crypto (Staples) Arena. USC’s arena. Pauley Pavilion. The Clippers’ new arena. Honda Center. Smaller venues at the many surrounding colleges. Santa Anita. Water all around. Beaches. Twenty golf courses. Lakes. Mountains. Velodrome.
Traffic? Only the canonized know what Peter Uberroth did in 1984, but there wasn’t any. Picture this: The first Monday morning of those Olympics, I got on the Harbor Freeway south at 9 a.m. It was like a bomb scare. No cars.
Summer Games are a logistical nightmare. I’ve been to three of them — L.A., Barcelona and Atlanta. Los Angeles was by the length of the 405 the best. If it could be done in 1984, it could be done again. And will be.
Enough with the outrageously expensive stupidity. But for now, I’ll be loving some Paris in the summer, as the song goes, when it sizzles. …
The Opening Ceremony, on the Seine River, was innovative, terrific. I was hoping Napoleon would light the torch. But I understand he either had a bad right arm or upset stomach — and he is, after all, really, Italian. …
Not to be outdone by a river, L.A.’s Opening Ceremony will be on the Hollywood Freeway. …
I also was disappointed that nobody from the Jordan contingent dunked. …
The U.S. men’s basketball team, the greatest since Dr. Naismith went to his grocer for peaches, beat South Sudan by a point in an exhibition. The Americans were fortunate three of the South’s best players had defected to the North. …
I’d say we should go back to sending amateur basketball players to the Olympics, but USA Basketball can’t find any. …
Bill Belichick declined to Kyle Shanahan’s 49ers staff. Word is he told Kyle he wants to win a Super Bowl. …
Speaking of Spygate, why would you send a drone to spy on a soccer practice? See if a goal is scored? …
UCLA will travel 22,000-plus miles to play Big Ten football this fall. Wow. Worst thing? The Bruins don’t fly nonstop. …
Mike Shildt was going to pull Dylan Cease after 7. Of course — until Cease talked him out of it. In his 16-inning shutout of the Braves in 1963, Juan Marichal threw 110 more pitches than Cease. Oh, and that’s when there were four-man rotations. …
I wonder why, with all the advances in medicine and training over the years, the only body parts to grow weaker have been the knee, Achilles and arm. …
I do not understand the Padres. And that’s a good thing. I guess. …
You can’t dispose of a shortstop of the future. If A.J. Preller trades Leodalis De Vries, he’d better be getting Honus Wagner in return. One of the Untouchables. …
Juan Soto continues to prove he’s the best, most effective, completely tradeable player in baseball history. You get returns for Juan. …
The best thing about Xander Schauffle is that he’s one San Diego athlete who can’t be traded. …
I will continue to call it Twitter. X is for Xander. Maybe Bogaerts is X 1-A — if he doesn’t play as Y. …
Only 10 percent of the Earth’s oceans have been explored by human beings. So there’s still 90 percent more to pollute. …
Jon Meacham. Goodness, this man is so smart, he gets me drunk on his speech. He’s just about Churchillian. …
Pope Francis says we all should take breaks during the day. Is it a venial sin to take a break all day? …
St. Petersburg’s city council has okayed $1.3 billion for a new baseball stadium. It’s a great baseball area, so it’s expected to hold, maybe, 20,000 fans, including SRO. Our Ham & Eggers will tell you: “Yeah, but can you safely ride a bike in St. Pete?” …
Speaking of Ham & Eggers, for whatever reason, I’ve spent more time driving around town lately than I have in a while. Horrible roads. But that’s OK, because we’re ready to spend millions on a dangerous Kettner and Vine homeless shelter that has no chance or working and has 101 Ash Street written on its walls. …
The Ohio Supreme Court has ruled that boneless chicken wings can have bones, because, well, chickens naturally have bones. They then ruled that it’s a felony to spit out Cincinnati chili. …
RIP, Duke Fakir, original member of the Four Tops. Not many singing groups topped the Tops. A great body of work. …
Our Mark Zeigler is on the job in Paris. The best. He wears five rings on his fingers. …
Mick Jagger once said: “When I’m 33, I’ll retire.” Guess he forgot. Good for him. …
Funny what happens in politics when the money begins to dry up. …
Vet me. I am ideally qualified to become veep. Great at not doing a whole helluva lot. And I have children, so I can vote for my ticket. …
Don’t understand why, when Comic-Con closes, I don’t get the same feeling I had when the NFL left town. …
By the way, did they test Snoop Dogg? His entire body is a torch.
