Sez Me …
New Jersey will have a 4.8 earthquake on the Les Richter scale before this happens.
But before we get started, think of the falsely anointed, all the future Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterbacks in this NFL Draft — despite being the untried and untested, football players being judged and overanalyzed when not actually playing football.
Then think of Justin Herbert. And all the fabrications. And why, among all the stupid, inedible entrees this month puts on its table, this one isn’t fit for the garbage disposal.
But it fits. Because it has happened before in the NFL Spring. Football’s wise guys — who aren’t as prevalent as you might think — become fall guys.
More on Justin in a second, but this may be the biggest whopper since the Greeks told the Trojans they had a parting gift.
OK. April is for fools. So are most months in an election year, but April, which braggingly begins with a “Fool’s Day,” is especially gullible for the gullible NFL general managers, owners and scouts.
They are the easily deceived.
All too often they see with their ears. It’s not necessarily a good 30 days for those whose hearing suddenly becomes more important than their sight. As the Doobies sang: “What a fool believes, he sees.”
A.J. Smith, who general managed the The NFL Team That Used To Be Here before it left here, wasn’t exactly Ben Franklin when it came to coining phrases. But he said, “April is liar’s month.” A.J. did not work at the rumor mill. If he made a mistake, it was on him.
He did not easily suffer April fools.
But this year’s mill actually began operation spewing crap prior to the month in which we find ourselves we now are in, the one in which the NFL Draft comes at its end.
The Triple Whopper with Limburger is a rumor that has Herbert, estimable young quarterback of Smith’s former team, drafting fifth overall, could be traded to a willing team that can afford him.
We all know Jim Harbaugh, the Judases’ latest head coach, drove Michigan to the national title and his QB was J.J. McCarthy. Since his L.A. arrival, Harbaugh has expressed his love for Herbert, while also gushing that McCarthy is the best quarterback in this draft.
J.J. is good, but it’s way beyond doubtful he’s going to be taken ahead of Caleb Williams, Jayden Daniels or Drake Maye. No one south of the Pearly Gates knows which of these guys will succeed as pros. Maybe none, maybe all.
Herbert, who just turned 26, has been in The League four years and thrown for 17,223 yards and 114 touchdowns behind mix-and-match offensive lines and a roster not good enough. He is elite.
Which is why he makes $52 million a year. Granted, his salary doesn’t help the cap, which has been reduced by getting rid of players — which includes top wideouts Keenan Allen and Mike Williams, and No. 1 back Austin Ekeler. And J.J. would make considerably less on a rookie salary.
The problem, you see, is that Justin is established — NFL wise guys love him to death — and McCarthy has yet to throw a for anything more than NIL money. Plus, J.J. would go to a team that has lost its best skill players with an offensive line in flux. You’re giving up a sure thing for an unknown?
Next to retired Norv Turner, Harbaugh’s probably the best quarterback whisperer, so it’s hard for me to believe he’d want this deal done. As good as I (and he) think he is, he has to know such a screwup could lead to years of bottom-feeding in the NFL Gene Pool.
This franchise has a history of doing the wrong thing — starting with the Judases’ otherwise brilliant Sid Gillman giving away Jack Kemp for $100 in pieces of silver, and later drafting Ron “The Beast” Billingsley over Alan Page. But this one would be good for one thing — pleasing the tens of thousands of out-of-town fans who come to their home games.
It would be historically stupid. Oh, no! Just thinking. But not for the Judases. …
——————————————————Before emailing me, I can’t comment on the Final Four because this column actually had to be in prior to Saturday’s tipoff. …
Ah, the Chiefs with more breaking-the-law issues. What a shock. Rashee Rice, their top wide receiver, is being seriously investigated by Dallas police for being a protagonist in a drag racing chain-reaction crash. Oh, and they found weed in his Lamborghini, a Texas felony. K.C. should have co-head coaches — Perry Mason and Leroy Jethro Gibbs. …
K.C. voters have nixed raising the sales tax that would have paid for replacing its baseball stadium and do an $800 million remodel on Arrowhead. Fascinating rumors have the Royals headed to Oakland and Chiefs moving to San Diego Mesa College (they didn’t approve of Snapdragon’s drainage issue). …
The Astros got a no-hitter on April 1. Houston wanted to get it done early because they don’t play the Padres until Sept. 16. …
Great stats keep coming. Jim Palmer never gave up a grand slam or back-to-back home runs. …
Women’s basketball takes me back in time. Fundamentals. The way the game is supposed to be played. …
“You never get tired. Tired is what you tell yourself,” says Caitlin Clark. I thought the body tells you when it’s tired. Great players know when they’re tired. They play through it. …
Any women’s basketball team — in this case, USC’s — that has Beth Burns as chief assistant not only has a fine coaching staff, but a quotable one. Beth is one of my all-time Top 10 potent quotables. …
When Burns was running the Aztecs’ program — and running it very well — our Chris Jenkins once was assigned the task of writing one of his expert long profiles on her. Chris called Beth with the request for her time and she said: “Better bring a change of clothes.” …
RIP, Louis Conter, 102. The last survivor of the USS Arizona. Hero. …
RIP, Barbara Rush. As Smokey wrote, she was sunshine on a cloudy day. …
RIP, Joe Flaherty. SCTV was funnier than Saturday Night Live — when SNL was funny. …
Happy birthday (April 5), Gregory Peck, San Diego High alum. …
Closers make me nervous. Robert Suarez doesn’t change my condition, but he’s growing on me. …
The A’s will play their 2025-27 seasons (with an option for 2028) in Sacramento’s tiny (14,000 seats) stadium. Will they ever sell out? Were the Solons informed? …
Why I Hate the Dodgers Part 19 Quintillion: They and their star Shohei bully the fan who retrieved Ohtani’s home run ball into returning it. Bush Billionaire Bums. …
Malachi Flynn scores 50 off the bench in Pistons loss. The Aztecs need more money like Malachi. …
Tiger Woods says he’s given up sex in the weeks leading up to the Masters. Woods can’t practice that much. So what does he do with his other 23 hours a day of spare time? …
Wilt never said any of that. …
New York City Marathon organizers may have to pay $750,000 in toll money to cross the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. Hell, so each runner throws in a dollar.
